Am I still single? When I first thought of writing down that question, my idea was that it might be ripe for a lot of interesting speculation. Obviously I'm not married, and I still live in my own home, but there are a lot of things in my life today different from when I began my "sixty and single in Seattle" experiment. What's the dividing line between single and not?
I am aware that single does not equal "looking." Many women and men on their own are not looking and intend never to look. Their lives are complete in a single state. However, full as my single life has been, partnership is huge with me. I've been looking. But at least for now, it's over. I figured that out at the library.
A couple of months ago, I decided to introduce myself to the -- wow! big! new! bookful! -- Ballard Branch library. I pulled an armload of possibles off the new-book shelves and hauled them to a table where I could sit and inspect them more closely.
At some stage, my gaze fell upon a reader at an adjacent table, facing me. I could see the cover of his book, The Physics of Healing.
How intriguing! or, wait, was it just silly woo-woo stuff?
I went over and asked if I could interrupt and find out more about the book. He said it was by a Bastyr guy and struck him as authentic. In describing it, he mentioned something I'd recently read about in The Atlantic, and then we traded some other allusions in common, and I noticed that he was handsome and in his 60s, I'd guess, and it turns out he cycles, and so on and so on.
He said, "We should have dinner." First I said, "Are you single?" And then, "This is too weird. I can't tell you how many times I have scanned libraries with the conviction that somewhere therein was a book-loving single man, and now here you are, and my heart is already busy."
I'm not a good date-around woman, never was, since second grade. I prefer -- in fact, I'm unable to do otherwise -- to focus on one man at a time. It's not a contest, after all, where the one with the most points wins.
Was it just life's crazy irony to meet my library man too late? Maybe so, but I thought that day, and still believe, that there's something about my sweetheart that's making me beautiful. Maybe there were library guys all along, and I just didn't attract them.
But, honestly? Now? Who cares?
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